Student Guest Blogger: Ami Parekh
Our
next student guest blogger is joining us today. The post below is
written by Ami Parekh, a joint MD/JD student and a member of the Yale
Law School Class of 2009. Ami is a married mother of an 8-month-old.
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Opting Out of Law School
I used to LOVE the stairwell at Yale Law School. For those of you who
have never walked up our stairwell - it is located in the middle of our
one hallway'ed law school. It goes up three flights of stairs
culminating in the high ceilings of the main room of the library. And
on the walls of the stairwell is poster after poster advertising one
event or another, or asking students to join an advocacy or interest
group, or a journal, or a reading group. It, to me, was the purest
representation of why I came to Law School - so many exciting things
happening all the time in this little building on Wall Street - all of
which I could be a part of. It would often take me 30 minutes to walk
up the stairs - not because they were steep (okay, fine a little
because they were steep - especially when I was pregnant) but because I
would be reading the posters and deciding what to get involved in, and
what to go to.
This year, I have been known to avoid the stairwell. Not because I
wouldn't love to know what is going on at School, but because it is a
reminder of the things I can't go to. This year, my third year, is my
first year as a mom in law school. There are many pluses about being a
mom in law school - a flexible schedule being probably the biggest
advantage of having a child in school versus while working. However,
there are minuses and some of the minuses are a result of the system of
recognition and reward we have set up at law schools.
A little bit about me, the mom part. In some ways, I may be unique - I,
the mom, am the law student. Although I would never admit this before
having the baby, there are differences between being a dad and being a
mom -- breastfeeding and morning sickness during pregnancy being two
key differences. My husband works a lot as well (and commutes to NYC
everyday to financially support me and my expensive education - and in
some ways, I have had a similar experience as the one Josh describes
in his blog post) - so I do not have a partner who can really shoulder
the logistical responsibilities that come with having a child. Finally,
we have decided on group childcare - we think our daughter thrives in
group care and want her to have that. We did not get off the waitlist
at any of the Yale day cares (YLS daycare told me they had a waitlist
14 people long when I got on it - I signed up when I was 12 weeks
pregnant!), so my daughter's daycare is a 20 minute drive from the Law
School.
You might be wondering why I am boring you with the details of how we
do childcare, but it is important because it means that I can't get to
law school before 8:30 and I have to leave by 5. This means not only
that I can't take classes that meet outside of those times - and
believe me, there are a number of them; but it also means I can't do
most of the activities I used to love.
This would not be so problematic actually - because in some ways I made
a choice - to have a child. I "opted" to have this child. So it seems
fair that I have to give up some things - all parents do. However, the
problem comes when it is precisely those things that make you a "good"
Yale Law Student. For example, many would tell you that if you would
like to clerk for a Judge, you should work on a Journal. Unfortunately,
most journal work, the source-citing and book pulls, occurs after
7:30pm. As do moot court, trial practice and most of the other things
good law students should have on their resumes.
In addition to these "prestigious" activities that ambitious law
students "should" pursue, many activities that may be seen as less
important but were integral to my law school experience were also out
of my reach. For example, most of the progressive reading groups and
meetings were after 5pm, as were most YLW membership meetings.
All in all, in my case, it isn’t that important that I do a journal, or
moot court, or trial practice – I am not going to be a lawyer next year
(I am a joint MD/JD so will be a resident physician – but a discussion
of that would be a whole separate blog post!). All I lost, really, was
the option to do a few things I would have enjoyed doing and taking a
few classes I would have enjoyed taking – so maybe I “opted out” of
being a good law student. However, if I truly wanted to clerk, or land
a “prestigious law job,” I wonder if I could have opted out so easily
or I would have be “pushed out” of pursuing those types of career
paths. At Yale, a lot of us don't want to be lawyers when we graduate,
which might make this less problematic; however, we also don't get
grades which makes our extracurriculars a little more important
regardless of what we want to do when we graduate - this, I think, may
make it significantly harder for parents to truly succeed as Yale law
students.
There are ways to improve the situation for parents. For one thing -
make on site daycare a priority. Yale uses their limited spots to
attract professors, but by limiting the availability to students, it
truly hampers the ability for parents to become full members of the YLS
community. Second, if onsite daycare is not feasible - have onsite back
up care available. On this point, Yale can learn from hospitals and law
firms that provide free care for a number of days of the year: 20 - 40
at most places. Third, encourage student organizations to try and
schedule meetings during the day - lunchtime could be used much more
often; similary encourage professors to have classes within the times
that daycare operates. Fourth, include the actual cost of daycare in
financial aid decisions - Daycare costs $13,050 for the academic year
after taxes (about $23,000 pre tax dollars) - this has to be included
as a necessary cost when determining need. Lastly, on a cultural level,
encourage, support and acknowledge the student parents - raising
children in law school is not easy and it should be respected - the law
school should be publicly proud it has parents among its student body.